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My Decision About the Blog


To the few people out there that read this blog, after my next post (the ask me anything post, assuming I have any questions to answer) I am planning on shutting it down, at least for the time being.  I may occasionally put a new post up here or there but considering that there really is no point behind this blog anymore now that I am no longer talking to my mother and I never hear from my brother so I don’t know where I currently stand with him, I will only post something when I feel I really need the outlet.
I was really hoping that in doing this blog I could give the people who have been so important to me throughout my life a better understanding about where I’m coming from and why I am transitioning but, you just can’t make some people care enough to see past their own insecurities.  As long as they are hung up on their own crap there is no way they will see that I am doing this because it is what I have to do, nor will they see the improvement that beginning this journey has given my life.  I love my family.  I miss my family.  I just wish that they felt the same as I do when it comes to me, but when it comes to a complete lack of respect by looking into something I told them I didn’t want to talk about and then jumping to conclusions when they find a post on an alternate FB account that was supposed to be set to private so that no one could see it before assaulting me through messenger and implying that I’m insane and think that I am something I am not… I can tell that they don’t feel the same about me. 
They could have asked about the post calmly and I would have told them that no one was supposed to see that post and that the reason I posted it was to get it out in a way I couldn’t when talking to the few people I had talked to about that subject, but no, they had to do what they did and have shown me how they really feel.  I don’t have to, nor am I going, to take the emotional manipulation and abuse that I have experienced since coming out.  I hope my mother will live a happy rest of her life and I only wish the best for her in her life but it will have to be without me in it because I can’t do it.  I hope that one day she will come around and want to have a relationship with me again but until she stops acting like she has been that won’t happen.  As for my brother, my door is still open should he wish to make a move to be a part of my life but at this point it is up to him to make the next move. 
To the people who have been reading this blog, thank you for reading it.  I don’t know if you were reading it because you gave a damn or simply because you were curious but that doesn’t matter because knowing someone was reading it made me feel a little better.  I wish you all the best and may you find love and happiness in all you do.
- Arylin Michelle
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