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It has been quite some time...


It has been quite some time since I have posted anything to this blog so I figured I would give a bit of an update...  I am coming up on 3 years on HRT and have changed my name legally now.  My spouse and I are still together though our relationship isn't quite the same as it was, nor will it ever be again, I am just honored to still have her in my life and to have her love and support.  My family is a different story. 

I don't think I will ever talk to my mother again, at least not unless she can get off her high horse and admit that she fucked up.  She wants to blame me and accuse me of making the choice to leave the family while she was the one constantly implying that she had rather I died than be trans.  She kept crossing the line I told her not to cross and I gave her multiple chances because of the simple fact that I love her and she is my mother.  Eventually she pushed too far and told me "this is goodbye" one too many times so, I gave her what she wanted.  I know she is playing the victim in this and will always do so because she is too stubborn to admit that she got what she wanted.  I love her still and will always love her but until she apologizes and recognizes me for the woman I am, I can’t be in touch with her.  She knows what it would take to get back in my life.

As for my brother, he has never even attempted to reach out and the only conversations I had were with his wife, Mellissa.  She basically told me that they were never going to show me the respect that I asked for, which was simply respect my pronouns and name once I got my name legally changed.  If you aren’t going to do something as simple as that then fuck you, you don’t deserve me in your life.  I have never asked my brother to repay me the money he borrowed from me when he was in college, I have never asked him to go out of his way to do anything for me.  All I have ever asked of him was for a little respect once I came out to him.  Don’t get me wrong, I do love him and my door is always open should he decide to come back into my life but, I demand respect.

Other that that, life has been fairly uneventful, I got my name legally changed.  I am out fill-time at work and everyone tries hard to use the right pronouns and name, though there are some slip ups every now and then, which is to be expected.  Life goes on, the bills keep coming, our president is an idiot and the world is going to shit in 2020 but, all things considered things are ok.

Love you all, best wishes for the future,

-Arylin Michelle

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