Today I am going to talk about a few somewhat divisive subjects,
Transgender people, gender dysphoria, and how Christians treat transgender
people. I have seen a lot of
misinformation and a huge lack of understanding about these subjects on social
media and I have some things I few things I feel need to be said about them,
especially in regard to people who claim to be Christian. First, let’s get some definitions out of the
way because some people don’t seem to differentiate between some of these…
Transgender – Denoting or relating to a person whose sense of
personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. (note: it is Transgender, not
Transgendered. Transgendered is not a
thing.)
Gender Dysphoria – The condition of feeling one’s emotional and
psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one’s biological
sex.
Cisgender – Denoting or relating to a person whose sense of
personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.
Gender – The state of being male or female. (typically used with reference to social and
cultural differences rather than biological differences.)
Sex – Either of the two main categories (male and female) into
which humans are divided on the basis of their reproductive functions. (to simplify, what they have between their
legs.)
Sexuality – A person’s sexual preferences and orientation.
(heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual)
Gender Expression – The way in which a person expresses their
gender identity, typically through their appearance, dress, and behavior.
Gender Identity – A person’s perception of having a particular
gender, which may or may not correspond with their birth sex.
Transition – The act of changing one’s outward appearance in order
to better reflect one’s gender identity when it is not in line with one’s sex.
Ok, now with that out of the way on to the topic at hand…
On online sites and social media such as Facebook, I have seen a
lot of people who claim to be Christians (I say claim because I don’t know
their hearts) that openly mock and ridicule the transgender community in such a
way that displays vehemence and hatred. I find this very disheartening because as
Christians we are supposed to love our neighbors, not hate them and mock
them. You don’t have to agree with them,
but at least show love and compassion toward them as fellow human beings that
are creations of God. And before you start quoting the laws stated in Old
Testament, remember, they are superseded by the New Covenant brought about by
the sacrifice Jesus made for mankind.
Jesus gave us two commandments, first, love God with all your heart, and
second, love your neighbor as you love yourself. Because of these two commandments, a lot of
the old laws no longer apply.
How can you show such a small portion of the population such
hatred and anger yet claim you love them as yourself? You can’t.
If you have hatred in your heart, you are the one that is sinning
against them. If you have murder in your
heart towards them then it is the same in the eyes of God as you killing them
with your own hands. How can you justify
treating them so poorly when it flies in the face of the very commandments that
Jesus gave? Where is the love? Where is the compassion? Transgender people are human beings that
deserve to be treated with the respect and dignity of any other human
being. They deserve Christians to show
them the love of God and Jesus through following Jesus’s commandments.
Let me let you in on a secret, you may know a person who is
struggling with gender dysphoria and thinking about transitioning yet you may
never know it because they are scared of the reactions by many of the people close
to them that, if they were obeying Christ, should be the least likely to treat
them so poorly, therefor they hide what and who they are to avoid being
hurt. They constantly deal with shame
for feeling the way they feel because society, including the Christian portion,
tells them that they are freaks who aren’t wanted and should be cast away. They hide their inner selves and try to make
it as best as they can in life even though the dysphoria and shame they feel
slowly eats away at them.
Many of these people think they can suppress it and live a normal
life in the role of their birth gender. Some
actually succeed in this suppression and go on to live relatively normal lives
with none the wiser. Most fail and
either end up killing themselves or transitioning to one degree or
another.
The rate of attempted suicide amongst the transgender population
in staggeringly high, around 40% to 45%.
This is because over 50% of transgender people experience severe
bullying, harassment, and discrimination at school and at work, many lose their
jobs after they come out because there are very little protections against
discrimination for them in the current laws.
Most have trouble receiving medical treatment, around 60%, when the
doctors and staff discover that they are transgender and, if they do receive
treatment, most are likely to suffer abuse while they are being treated. Younger transgender people are 70% more
likely to experience violence and sexual assault against them in school, for
adults that number is around 65% when at work.
They are 60% more likely to experience harassment and discrimination by
law enforcement with an astounding 70% rate of physical violence and sexual
assault by law enforcement officers.
Almost 70% experience homelessness and just under 60% have family that
refuses to have anything to do with them.
Honestly, with numbers like these, is it any surprise so many
attempt suicide? If the majority of
Christians would treat these individuals the way Christ commanded, that might
help those numbers go down some. Instead
we have the attitudes that I mentioned earlier being prevalent amongst the
Cristian population.
For the record, I am not saying all Christians are the sole problem
in this regard, there are many Christians that don’t exhibit the hatred that I
am addressing. Also, it isn’t just
Christians, there are plenty of non-Christians that behave like this too. I am just addressing the Christians because I
am a Christian. I see this behavior and
it disgusts me.
Just because someone’s gender expression and gender identity does
not match their sex and may even make you feel uncomfortable does not mean that
they should receive the treatment from society that so many do. Christians should strive to be better and let
them know that they are loved and that God loves them.
Now, I am going to try my best (and probably fail horribly) to
explain what it means to be transgender for the people who have a hard time
understanding it…
Having gender dysphoria is a horrible thing for someone to suffer
from. Imagine what it would be like to
have your sense of self not properly align with your body.
For the men out there, (straight and gay because sexuality does
not go hand in hand with gender) imagine what it would feel like if every time
you looked in a mirror, you saw a woman.
Imagine having to go through life having the typical activities that men
participate in denied to you and instead, because of the way our society
genders itself, you have to participate in the activities geared more towards
women. Society tells you that you should
want to find a man to marry, have the dream wedding with the perfect dress,
then start making a family together with this man. That you have to deal with all the things
women tend to deal with from feeling the need to make sure that the way you
dress is good enough for people to take your seriously to the fear of rape.
That it is your duty to bear children and that your self-worth is based on you
doing these things with a smile on your face because that is what it means to
be a woman. (disclaimer: that is not how
I feel about what it means to be a woman, I am just using that mentality to
make a point.) For the women out there,
do the same only reverse the roles obviously.
How depressed do you think you would get if you had to deal with
that every day of your life. Gender
dysphoria can strike both very early in life and late in life. It can affect people to varying degrees, for
some it is a mild annoyance and to others it drives them into a psychological
break down. To be fair, most children
that do experience it grow out of it but some don’t. Some have to go through puberty experiencing
what feels like their body turning against them. Imagine how that would feel. That said, not all people who suffer with
gender dysphoria experience it starting at an early age, some it doesn’t hit
until later in life. In fact, there are
some people who don’t even know that gender dysphoria is the reason they feel
depressed and displaced until they start exploring those feelings to find what
the cause is.
Once they finally find out what the issue is that is making them
depressed, they then have three choices.
They can face it head on, seeking out a psychologist or psychiatrist to
try to figure out how best to deal with it, be it transitioning completely or
doing little things in their life to ease the discomfort. They can suppress it, never addressing it
which will more than likely end up in their suicide or them turning to drugs. Finally, they can just flat out kill
themselves.
Most psychologists that have experience with gender issues will
tell them that those are their only options.
There is no cure for gender dysphoria, it will be there for the rest of their
life and the only thing that has ever offered anyone any relief is transition
to one degree or another. The
psychologist/psychiatrist will also try to help them prepare for the backlash
from society, their family, and their employer that will inevitably
happen. Most will be blunt about these
things, informing them about the hard road ahead should they decide to pursue
transition. They will also be blunt
about the likely results of suppressing it.
Ultimately, though, the choice is for the individual with dysphoria to
make, (not the psychologist/psychiatrist) one way or the other, and they will
have to live with the consequences for the rest of their lives. Regardless of what they decide, the
psychologist/psychiatrist will try to help them survive as they go along
whichever path they choose, both of which have their own unique challenges such
as the ridicule and hatred that they could face should they decide to follow
transition. The fear for their safety
that can easily dominate their life because they are seen by so many as less
than. On the flip side, the fear that
they will ever have someone find out about the way they feel and discriminating
against them for it. Having to maintain
a mask to the public, never being free to truly be themselves except, perhaps,
in the privacy of their own home.
Hopefully that gives you a basic idea of what transgender/gender
dysphoric people go through and it will help you to build compassion in your
heart for them. Don’t pity them, they
don’t need that. Just love them as Jesus
commanded and show them that you support them and stand up for their rights. As I said before, you don’t have to agree but
that doesn’t mean you can’t be there for them when they need it.
Finally, to close, if you ever find out that a family member, be
it cousin, sibling, parent, or child, struggles with gender dysphoria and/or is
considering transitioning, please, don’t reject them. You don’t have to agree with the way they
feel or the choices they make, but seriously, don’t reject them. Let them know that they are loved and, while
you may not agree with what they are doing, you will be there for them. They are going to have a hard enough time
dealing with the rest of the world, you shouldn’t be contributing to that.
Also, and I can’t stress this enough, if you are the parent of a
child who deals with this, whatever you do, don’t reject them, get them a
therapist that has experience with adolescences who deals with gender issues. Don’t try to invalidate the way they feel by telling
them that they are wrong for feeling the way they feel and don’t send them to
any therapists that will tell them that either.
That is the kind of thing that leads to tragedies like Leelah
Alcorn. Be a support for them, not a
road block, they have a lot to work out that will affect the rest of their life. Their parents are the one group of people
that they should always be able to go to when they need love and support. If you take that away they have nothing. No one else that can truly fill that void in
the same way and you will be more likely to end up attending your child’s
funeral in the future.
Christians, remember to show the love of God to people that deal
with this. Don’t ridicule them, respect
them as you would want them to respect you.
Love them as you love yourself. Reach
out a hand to the ones in need. Offer them a shoulder to lean on if they need
it. Do what Christ commands of you.
- Arylin Michelle (7/21/2017)
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